written in the heat of the moment

Capital punishment is the best thing to happen to mankind since ... well, nothing. The best thing.

2005-03-16T12:59:00.000-05:00

Apparently a guy was executed while insisting that he was innocent. He did a brain-fingerprinting procedure which "suggested" that he was innocent. Yeah. We really buy that. And the pity party after that gets better. His three daughters and shit wept as he was executed. Get over it, idiot, you know you're guilty and dragging your family over to go cry and ass-kiss the media won't change it.

Peterson is about to be sentenced for murder. Good riddance I say. But listen to the victim's mom being outraged because the press was given priority over "the victim's family". Right. You don't know what you're talking about, woman. Don't you get it? You're nobody. You're just there because your emptyheaded daughter got kidnapped and snuffed it because she was emptyheaded enough to get married to a killer. You don't sell. The press, the media, they're the ones who sell. They write the stories, sell it to the public, who snaps it all up in the form of newspapers, magazines, and so forth, so they provide useful services in demand in our economy. All you contribute in this thing is a sick sort of vengeance and also your pity party. Big deal. Maybe the party hats for your pity party might contribute a bit, since you bought 'em. Ahaha. AHAHAHA.

Idiots. All of them. From the Petersons to that moronic man who dragged his daughters over to see him get killed.

Bin Laden kicked out of his own religion?

2005-03-11T21:36:00.000-05:00

It's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. Apparently Bin Laden and his fanatic goons have been kicked out of their own religion. They've been issued a fatwa by Muslim clerics in Spain, which apparently has the same meaning as fanatic Catholics being excommunicated by the Roman Catholic Church.

This is great. They'll be blowing themselves up in the name of Islam, and Muslim clerics will be blowing up as well, except it'll be in rage at someone staining their religion instead of by being strapped to a bunch of bombs. This is absolutely great. Some idiotic goon will blow himself up in Iraq along with a couple of civilians while screaming "allah akhbar! allah akhbar!", and there'll be Muslim clerics screaming "istihlal! istihlal!" at 'm.

I take this moment to suggest to the people working for bin Laden to just quit your jobs as terrorists and go convert to some more peaceful religion. Hey, there are nutjobs out there who believe in faeries and call it religion, why don't you go join them?

We're that lazy?

2005-03-11T21:27:00.000-05:00

So now Sony has incorporated the ability to order pizza into Everquest 2.

See, now lazy, fat, nerdy gamer slobs don't even want to bother walking to the telephone. Sony notices that there are quite a few said slobs who wish to minimize their time on their feet, so they come up with this. Clever. Very clever. Which is more than can be said for the gamers who use this feature and think they're clever for using it. Guess what. It isn't the consumers who're clever for consuming; it's the vendors who think it up who're clever and the ones who actually benefit the most from their services. That's right. All the poor idiots who went scratching at the ground for gold during that gold rush just scratched their way into a miserable grave, and the ones who sold them the digging equipment, clothing, food, and all the essentials who really struck it rich.

Wake up, slobs, and go get some fucking exercise once in a while. A good start would be to actually go outside and walk over to the pizza place to get your pizza. Judging from how much you'd stuff your face, you'd still run a heavy calorie surplus, but hey, it'll be less of a surplus than before.

And you can look athletic to your buddies. "Hey, look, I walked an entire block and a half to get our pizza!" "Wow, I can't even imagine how far that would be!"

Shouldn't your , be a [brand] ?

2005-03-09T12:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm talking about the retarded commercial. You know the one. The Gerber one. They imply that if you don't buy their products, you're somehow wronging your infant, that you're cheating the little grub out of something that the Gerber company implicitly claims "everyone else" is getting. Ultimately, the message is: spend money to feed our company's sales, stock, and investment, or we're going to make you feel miserable through our psychologically designed commercials.

No wonder the terrorists want to bomb us so badly. They're dumbasses, though. They shouldn't have bombed the WTC towers or the Pentagon. They're making mistakes grabbing random people in Afghanistan or Iraq. They're hitting the wrong things. They should be out there kidnapping CEO's of fat corporations, bombing the Gerber headquarters, and kidnapping spam/advertisement companies. Hell, while they're at it, they should also kidnap the mad white woman and those stupid kids making life hell for Jackson.

Bin Laden, if you're reading this, I hope you take these suggestions into account. You should change your targets. The President of the United States is not your target. The Pentagon is not your target. Random American journalists are not your target. Military structures or personnel are not your targets. See, you're just hitting the pressure points of the military structure of the United States. No, no, no, bad boy, you're playing it all wrong. To hit 'em harder and more below the belt, you should be hitting spammers, people who make retarded commercials like Gerber, and the fat cats. I can't believe I'm lecturing you on how to terrorize. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON TOP OF THIS, YOU MISERABLE OLD FUCK.

Shameless Advertising.

2005-03-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

Tell your friends about my blog. Have it on your cell phone. Make it your homepage. Leave comments if you want nice Degenerate Asshat gear to buy, and I'll "think about it".

No blog is complete without the author bending over and spreading ass at least ONCE for publicity, right? Consider this whoring post a substitute, because trust me, you don't want to see my ass.

Anti-black racists hate blacks. Fact. Black person makes it big; they want to pull him down. Fact.

2005-03-09T10:30:00.000-05:00

People can't stand to see a black man make it so big, can they? So a black guy makes it as big as Michael Jackson has, there are going to be people who will lie like mad to pull him down. Guess what? The boy he "molested" is lying. Proof? He's admitted to lying in another case, and the "pornographic material" that he claims Jackson showed him while he was being "molested" is ... ready? IT'S DATED AFTER THE BOY(S) LEFT JACKSON'S RANCH AND NEVER CAME BACK. So there's only one thing to say, and we all know what it's going to be. Come on, don't tell me you didn't see it coming. STOP LYING BOYS, BECAUSE THE GOOD LORD GAAWWD 'ATES IT, AND YER GOIN' TO HELL!! If you want to play music for this occasion, now is the time to play Venom's "Welcome to Hell".

If you are one of the jackasses who want to put a gag order on this, make it easy and just forcibly delete it. I'm not going to stop writing what I think, so you'd better hire a guy to follow me around everywhere if you want to stop me. Or, you could shoot me and pretend a terrorist did it. Thanks. To quote the bearded guy on Jay Leno ...

"So let's talk about the Michael Jackson trial. Also known as, Diary of a Mad White Woman."

Let's all make the finger of victory here, eh?

The third digit. That's right. The time-honored FUCK YOU goes to people who deserve it. Which could possibly include me. Ha. Ahaha. Ahahahahaha. AHAHAHAAHHHHHAHAHAHAAA.

After being a jackass, Israel finally bends over for once.

2005-03-09T10:10:00.000-05:00

Israel bends over for Palestine. So Israel is turning over two cities, after releasing 500 Palestinian hostages in "a display of goodwill". Right.

Hey, about time, after Palestine's taken so much pounding up the ass, what with Israel just marching in and invading parts of Palestine to build a fence and all. And then when people call Israel on that little invasion, Sharon cries like a bitch and accuses everyone of taking the side of the terrorists. And let's not forget how Palestine's randomly gotten razed by bulldozers, missile-bombed, and all that.

Damn. If the terrorists had any brains, they'd export about a hundred of the best Middle Eastern hookers (hot off the kidnapping van) and bribe people with nuclear technology with 'em. Then nuke their enemies. Yeah. Let's hope none of them are reading this brilliant plan, because the Degenerate Asshat doesn't possibly see how it'd fail.

Until my next brain diarrhea.